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You Don't Have To Own A Cat To Appreciate This One! You don't even have to
like 'em!

We were dressed, and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We
turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet
parakeet, and put the cat in the backyard.

We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and
we opened the front door to leave the house.

As we walked out the door, the cat we had put out in the yard, scoots back
into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house. Because she
always tries to eat the bird.

My wife goes on out to the taxi, while I went back inside to get the cat.
The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife
doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the
night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, 'He's just
going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother.'

A few minutes later, I get into the cab. 'Sorry I took so long,' I said,
as we drove away. 'That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to
poke her ass with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take
off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to
keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass
downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!'

The cab driver hit a parked car.

I knew someone that would get on an occupied elevator with a friend and whisper: "So where did you bury the body?"

This is doubly funny because I didn't realize what forum this was in when I opened it up - thinking "oh no, someone is losing someone dear!" oops!

Thanks for the laugh. I didn't see which forum it was in either so at first I wonder if it was real life or a joke.

I did not look at the forum first either and was dreading hearing someone had lost their mother. I am still laughing. I can just imagine the look on that taxi driver's face!