Random Thoughts

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Random Thoughts

Postby Irmi » Wed Dec 31, 2014 6:17 pm

Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes and come out wrinkle-free and 3 sizes smaller!

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet!

I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks!

I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off!

Old age is coming at a really bad time!

When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment ... now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation!

The biggest lie I tell myself is ... "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the friends to post my bail when I finally snap!

I don't have gray hair. I have "wisdom highlights". I'm just very wise.

My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work.

Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.

The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes".

I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do that second week.

When did it change from "We the people" to "screw the people"?

I've lost my mind and I'm pretty sure my wife took it!

Even duct tape can't fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound!

Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.

Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?

At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

Chocolate comes from cocoa which is a tree ...that makes it a plant which means ... chocolate is salad.
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Re: Random Thoughts

Postby BarbaraRose » Wed Dec 31, 2014 7:38 pm

Those are great! :lol:
Barbie, Romeow, and Sophie, missing Lola! (and lots of ferrets running around in my heart!)

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"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened"
-Anatole France
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Re: Random Thoughts

Postby Redetotry » Wed Dec 31, 2014 9:43 pm

I enjoyed those! :D :D Hard to pick a favorite as they were all good.
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Re: Random Thoughts

Postby gingerK » Thu Jan 01, 2015 10:20 am

Thanks for the chuckle Irmi!
Any day spent in the company of my animals is a good day.
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Re: Random Thoughts

Postby avalen » Thu Jan 01, 2015 1:30 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:
Somewhere with Ava and Maggie
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Re: Random Thoughts

Postby snowball » Thu Jan 01, 2015 11:17 pm

fun to read
thanks for sharing
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Re: Random Thoughts

Postby Bethers » Fri Jan 02, 2015 3:08 am

Love these.
Beth
“Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~
"He who treasures the small things in life has found the path to true happiness"
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