Seniors Home

Share a joke with friends and give links to fun games online.

Seniors Home

Postby sharon » Mon Nov 11, 2013 11:15 am

We had quite a long discussion on retirement homes here so I thought this was apropo...

[b][The Hypnotist at a Senior Home

It was entertainment night at the senior citizens' center.

After the community sing along led by Alice at the piano, it was
time for the star of the show- Claude the Hypnotist!

Claude explained that he was going to put the whole audience
into a trance.

"Yes, each and every one of you and all at the same time.
said Claude.

The excited chatter dropped to silence as Claude carefully
withdrew from his waistcoat pocket a beautiful antique gold
pocket watch and chain.

"I want you to keep your eyes on this watch" said Claude,
holding the watch high for all to see.

"It is a very special and valuable watch that has been in my
family for six generations" said Claude.

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while
quietly chanting

"Watch the watch --- Watch the watch ----Watch the watch"

The audience became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth.

The lights were twinkling as they were reflected from its
gleaming surfaces.

A hundred and fifty pairs of eyes followed the movements of the
gently swaying watch.

They were hypnotized.

And then, suddenly, the chain broke!!!

The beautiful watch fell to the stage and burst apart on impact"

"SHIT" said Claude.

It took them three days to clean the Senior Citizens ' Center and
Claude was never invited there again./b]
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.

- Alex Levine

<><>
User avatar
sharon
 
Posts: 4386
Joined: Wed Dec 24, 2008 8:04 pm
Location: SoCal

Re: Seniors Home

Postby BarbaraRose » Mon Nov 11, 2013 11:17 am

:o :o :lol:
Barbie, Romeow, and Sophie, missing Lola! (and lots of ferrets running around in my heart!)

Image

"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened"
-Anatole France
User avatar
BarbaraRose
 
Posts: 11201
Joined: Sun Dec 06, 2009 8:23 pm
Location: Indio, CA

Re: Seniors Home

Postby Cudedog » Mon Nov 11, 2013 12:43 pm

OMG. TOO funny!!! :lol:
The Stone Wind
Hand Made Hammered Copper & Natural Stone Jewelry
https://www.etsy.com/shop/thestonewind/
User avatar
Cudedog
 
Posts: 2762
Joined: Fri Jan 04, 2013 1:39 pm

Re: Seniors Home

Postby Redwahine » Mon Nov 11, 2013 3:34 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:
Redwahine
 
Posts: 2131
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 5:51 pm
Location: Texas

Re: Seniors Home

Postby avalen » Mon Nov 11, 2013 5:12 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:
Somewhere with Ava and Maggie
Image
User avatar
avalen
 
Posts: 9430
Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2008 5:13 pm
Location: Apache Junction Arizona

Re: Seniors Home

Postby rvgrammy1953 » Mon Nov 11, 2013 5:18 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:
ImageImage
Lori, Ernie & Spinner
2012 Open Range Roamer 5er
2008 Toyota Tundra
http://grammyandpapaswildadventure.blogspot.com
rvgrammy1953
 
Posts: 3938
Joined: Thu Jul 17, 2008 6:27 am
Location: Transplanted Yankees in Coastal GA

Re: Seniors Home

Postby cnq50b » Mon Nov 11, 2013 7:22 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Sadie is climging on my lap to see if i've gone totally crazy - laughing totally out loud!!!!!!!
Catherine & Sadie
California

Image
User avatar
cnq50b
 
Posts: 1664
Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2012 8:31 pm
Location: LA area California

Re: Seniors Home

Postby Bethers » Mon Nov 11, 2013 9:44 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:
Beth
“Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~
"He who treasures the small things in life has found the path to true happiness"
Image
User avatar
Bethers
 
Posts: 17494
Joined: Sat Jul 12, 2008 9:00 pm
Location: Arizona

Re: Seniors Home

Postby JoanE » Mon Nov 11, 2013 10:34 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:
ImageMaggie Mae (Jack Russell "terror")
http://www.emptyponder.blogspot.com
User avatar
JoanE
 
Posts: 1116
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2011 2:17 pm
Location: Sarasota FL

Re: Seniors Home

Postby Redetotry » Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:50 am

Guess I better watch what I say :lol: :lol:
Image
Redetotry
BJ
User avatar
Redetotry
 
Posts: 4916
Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2008 7:36 am
Location: Illinois


Return to Joke And Game Time

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests